I first met Jan when I arrived in Ely NV, January 1993. The firm she worked for had their office right across the street from the house I had rented and she represented the hospital in writing my employment contract.
We were both single professional women with a single exceptional child that we were raising. We felt an immediate kinship and decided that we'd been sisters in premortality and belonged together. She'd often "escape" across the street and drink herb tea and talk with me in the mornings while I was getting ready for work. Because of our "sisterhood" we had a lot of inside jokes. One time after she married Curt, I needed something done at my house that required "muscle", I called her up and requested that she send Curt over to help me, because since she was now a wife, that made her a "sister-wife" Then when I remarried, we were both "sister-wives." This "joke" really made people look up, since we were living so close to Southern Utah where there were known polygamists (which we definitely were not). In later years she would often call to consult me on medical things and tell the office staff where ever I was that it was my sister-wife calling.
Another joke involved our electronic "short-leashes." Because of our professions, we were usually accessible by phone or beeper. She had an early small cell-phone that she's often tuck in her bra because "back in those days they didn't put many pockets in women's clothes." She called it the "boob-phone." When I got a similar small phone, she became "Boob One" and I was "Boob Two." I'd answer the phone and hear, "Boob Two, this is Boob One. I have an assignment for you."
When Jeremy asked, I realized that I don't have any photos of us, but I don't need pictures to remember and feel the joy and enthusiasm for life we shared.
Love, Kisty
Kirsten Mortenson, D.O.
HI JEREMY, ARIANNE AND AELLIANA,
MY NAME IS DONNA STIENMETZ. I WORK IN THE ASSESSOR'S OFFICE AT LANDER COUNTY, AND MY HUSBAND STEVEN IS ONE OF THE COUNTY COMMISSIONERS AND WORKED CLOSELY WITH JANALEE. I FIRST MET JANALEE, HOWEVER, THROUGH HER ANIMALS. I WORK FOR ELKO VET CLINIC ON TUESDAYS AND HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW JASPER QUITE WELL. MY CONDOLENCE TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FOR THE LOSS OF YOUR MOTHER, DAUGHTER, GRANDMOTHER, AND MY FRIEND. MAY I ASK HOW IS JASPER AND WHERE IS HE GOING TO LIVE? MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU TODAY. WITH DEEPEST SYMPATHY, DONNA & STEVE STIENMETZWhen I received the news about Jan's passing, I was deeply saddened. My deepest heartfelt sympathy goes out to you and your family at this time of grief. I have known Jan since Jr. High School and am grateful for the time we had together and the friendship which we shared.
A few rich memories of her, she sang in our high school band, would come to some of my DJ dances and I watched her perform in drama. Although living miles apart, we've been lucky to stay in touch through the years, for which I am very grateful. When passing though Utah, she would occasionally stay with my wife and I and we always looked forward to her visits.
I share in your grief during this difficult time and wish that I could attend the funeral. However, prior commitments prevent me from doing so. Know that Jan and her family will always be in my heart and she will be deeply missed.
Sincerely,
Mark Taylor
Jeremy, Below is a copy of the bulletin I posted at 5am on Friday, if
you wanted to add it to the site.
-----------------------------------------------
Subj: I'll Miss You Momma
To Those who know me, you know Janalee Murray, a woman who helped raise me from age 3 up.
A Woman who I was proud to call my mom, blood relation or not.
We meet people in this world who we call family, no amount of blood ever changes this, please say a prayer, light a candle, praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster, do whatever you do, but please do it for me and my brother, Jeremy.
I love you Mom, and I will miss you with all my heart, Rest In Peace.
Jayar
Janalee Murray 1959-2007
Jeremy,
For what it might be worth as a piece of memorabilia of your mom, here is the brief but very enjoyable correspondance about the room I was going to rent from her. I imagine she had hundreds of similarly humorous and generous exchanges. When I called her to work out a meeting in Battle Mountain, she immediately offered up her place to stay on my way from Wyoming to Reno. She took me along to dinner with her friend Grace at the Owl Cafe. She had steak and told some funny stories, mainly about Las Vegas and the lives of her pets. I hardly knew her, but in that brief time I did, she seemed to qualify as the proven oracle I had posted for.
Gareth
$400 Room to rent/house to share with students, yuppies, or proven oracles
Reply to: hous-303904132@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-03-31, 4:39PM PDT
How about this one: I'm moving to Reno to finish school and wouldn't mind living within walking distance of UNR, but the Old Southwest would be good as well. I will study more than not, but the BBQ, poker, and a little whiskey are part of education. Sharing meals, friends, books, general maintenance, a newspaper subscription, and (possibly) girlfriends--any or all would be a kick. I have communal hankerings but am not a Communist (but will not exclude Communists). At least one housemate with a desert-worthy 4x4 and reloading equipment would be fine.
Hard to be particular with these things but I'll give it a shot. Ideally I'd like to work something out where I could pay partial rent to store some things and not move in fully until August. I have a job for the summer and need to work right up until school starts at the end of August, without much time to look for a place then.
Probably all of that is next to impossible...but the poker and BBQ would be a good start. If you have a house with room for one more, or if you want to go in on a place, send an email. I'll be in Reno next month--we'd meet and hammer out details then.
Jan's reply on April 4
Hummm.....
Am neither a student or a yuppie (not a yuppie, a yippie or a metro-sexual, I be just a brat)...but I may meet the proven oracle description--am an old attorney..lol. And female. And hertero-single and that is not likely to change. By Monday at the latest, I will have leased a home in SW Reno, and am relocating from the wilds of rural Nevada to start a new job in Reno around 5/1. The house I end up in will have a bunch of room for me, a great big wookie dog and three aging cats---and likely a starving student with his own room and bath. I have six properties to look at this weekend, and one WILL BE chosen. (I think I already know which one....Four bedrooms, 3 bath, 2 car with decks, trees and hottub in the Old SW. I prefer living with others and have lived communally, but prefer joint co-habitation with reasonable boundaries and my own food bill.
As for qualifications....I do play poker...would like to do it professionally, but alas, must work for a living. (Am beginning to finish in the money at tourneys though.) Upon occasion have been known to over-indulge in whiskey, but that hurts the liver at my advanced geriatric age of 47 and the hangovers are a bitch. I have my very own Weber BBQ and make a mean rib meal with my own signature rib sauce. I know what a rub is. Not much of one for the out of doors, (the army cured me of the tent and bug thing,) and I like high definition TV and luxurious linens. I prefer to buy my bullets, own more than one gun, and do drive a desert worthy all wheel drive girlie car that would not be pretty anymore if it got all dented up. I have lots of books, read lots of books, and if I have a book you need, you are welcome to borrow it. Personally, I hate eating alone. I do drink real coffee, eat red meat, drink beer and wine and have great friends who visit often from all over the country. Eventually, I will be going back and finishing my counseling PHD, but right now, just working the JD.
I eschew "drama and complications," and for the most part live a fairly quiet, uncomplicated life. I don't want that to change...I have worked hard to get it this way.
The only thing is, I don't have girlfriends to share. My girlfriends are likely to punch me out if I tried to rent them out to anyone...they do make up their own minds--but well, if they are willing, er...go for it. Just don't share the details with me...lol. I enjoy music and making music from time to time. I even have my own karaoke player for the occasional party. My married son lives in Reno and I do have my granddaughter around quite often (one of the primary reasons for the relocation and job change). The house would have to be "appropriate" when she is there.
Everyone has a couple of boundaries and my few are non-negotiable. You cannot be a felon or sex offender, use or possess any drugs that aren't legal for you to have and use, smoke inside the house or drink like a fish--I can't do with any of these things and they are deal breakers. I also don't want to have a secret non-paying roomie...thus any "girlfriend" would need her own place and sleep there almost all the time.
If you think you could tolerate this slightly arcane wit and we work this out, you would likely be asked to handle the "man things" around the house like garbage hauling, the newspaper subscriptions, mowing the lawns and shoveling the walks. I would not be seeking sexual favors. Rent around $400.00- 500.00 is likely okay as long as you don't want the house at 80 degrees all winter and will keep me from having to hire a gardener (usually that is a $200.00/month cost for me.) There is always a housekeeper--you will have to tolerate her--she can be a bit...er...bitchy at times and requires you to pick up after yourself so she can clean. My worst habits at home are shedding my shoes everywhere, losing my keys at the wrong times, and leaving water glasses all over. Oh, and I talk on the phone, alot at times, and work too much and not eat right, and get tired and bring my ugly work home, get called out in the middle of the night and have real cops as friends. You would have to tolerate that too. In all, I am not too bad to live with, as says my last four roomies. Storage for things for the summer is fine, there will be plenty of room. (Oh and you can't eat my last chocolate bar or drink the last diet pepsi.) Still interested? BTW...how old ARE you? I would not like to feel like your mother...lol.
Jan
April 5
Dear Jan (that's almost like Dear John, but I hope this is only the beginning),
Your grammar is nearly perfect. It is clear that you write a lot for your living. You make a clear, organized, entertaining, fact-based (I trust) and, frankly, quite convincing case for yourself. Clear and Simple as the Truth. If I ever need cousel I will call you even if we are not living in the same house. That can also serve to imply that I have never found need for counsel and therefore am not a convicted felon or a sex offender. My substance-based vices are restricted to alcohol and tobacco; I don't need to smoke inside or even with any kind of regularity. I would certainly like to be able to cook dinner on occasion for any girls I might be talking with (I can find my own if you can't share), but there would be no resident aliens or illegals. RelatedIy, I have developed a dislike for cooking only for myself. It would be splendid to share meals on the occaions when we are both home.
I also eschew drama and complications; it is sometimes a peculiar thing to me that they are even possible conditions of co-habitation, which is to say I have found myself to be even-headed in areas domestic. If I could be faulted it would be for being occasionally aloof. You would only have to directly point out a problem and it would be resolved.
I would gladly take care of man-chores. Landscaping is not a problem. By the BLS I would probably presently be considered an "unskilled laborer" but I can work on a variety of household repairs and even change the oil on your Subaru Legacy if you'd rather not deal with The Corporation. A monthly $400 rent would be ideal.
I could tolerate your bringing home ugly work, and answering the phone when real cops call, as long as you are willing to explain the Law and would allow me to ask both stupid and probing questions about your profession.
Seems like this has potential. There are a few other offers in the hopper; yours is the most appealing so far. Perhaps the only question is whether it would be socially optimal (if you'll forgive the term, it's the most precise I could think of) for me to be living with an older woman. I tend to think that most people my age--including myself--don't know anything, and that's partially why I was looking for someone with oracular powers. I hang with the fellas and the ladies but there are just some things--lots of things--that the old-timers have that we don't. But that's all something I'll think over before I get a place. I am 22 (yes, you could be my mother), have done a couple of years of college, taken a couple of more off, and now am fairly resolved to go back and get a Bachelor's, at least. We'll see.
How does all this sound to you?
I will leave Wyoming on the 16th to make a brief stop in the wilds of rural Nevada to brand some calves on the way to Reno, and hope to be there by the 24th. Should I give you a call then?
Gareth
April 5
Gareth,
Why thank you kind sir...I appreciate the words...
I found but a single wrong assumption. It is not a Subaru Legacy...(I might be a grandma, but never such that I would drive a grandma car...oh please!), but a Lexus RX 300. Old, but serviceable.
As far as socialization, rooming with an older woman might have both benefits and burdens. There would be my inclination to forget your new-found adultness and treat you like the male teenage slaves that I so missed in my life when my boys went away to college. My girlfriends have large wallets, yes, but usually larger bottoms too. If the thought of grandma wrinkles and sagging ...er..er..er..."things" might offend thee if one were to inadvertently lay one's eyes upon them, then it would be traitorous for you to be around my girlfriends, who uniformly have no modesty or body taboos. At the same time, they each appreciate wit and humor in any man of any age, and if you are nice on the eyes, they would appreciate you even more. Can't say that you would "get lucky" often with them, but you would be entertained and well fed. The status of rooming with an older woman who owns all the comforts of home is often underrated by new adults. You would either be envied or teased...and I would suspect that the breakdown would be 50/50. I appreciate youthful vigor, but not so much youthful stupor and I am done raising children.
I can see from your written repartee that you are learned and witty, and likely a hoot to be around. We can talk.
traitorous should have been treacherous...oh the dratted spell check....grrr
Jan Murray
(702) 218-7210
PS...I am in Battle Mountain and will be there during the week of the 24th...the good news is that it is on I-80 between Elko and Winnemucca, and on your way from Wyoming. FYI: I am a Wyoming native and grew up on a working ranch outside of Cheyenne. I do understand the working ends of various animals and have been known to fix tractors with bailing wire.
April 8
Jan-
Going towards Tonopah April 16 but you are only a slight detour. Will call before I leave, perhaps we can have a coffee in Battle Mountain. Will bring traitors if you bring bailing wire to fix them.
Gareth
April 8
Gareth,
You are welcome here on the 16th...I am leaving for Reno early on the 17th for a wee spot of surgery (before I am without insurance for 90 days on the new job), and would love to have coffee with you...
Rented a place this weekend. Is in the SW, about 1/2 mile south of Plumb off Plumas. Big trees, deck, windows, almost like living in the mountains...amazing..and right in Reno too. Has plenty of rooms and baths. It is equadistant between Virginia Lake and the Washoe County Golf Course. About two blocks to either one...
Tonopah from Battle Mountain is about 220 miles...great scenery.
Jan
PS...have not found that bailing wire fixes traitors, need psychotherapy for that...lol...and there aren't any psych medics here either...
Dear Jeremy and family,
I just heard the news about your mom and I'm sorry for your loss. I remember her being kind and helpful when she was Phill's lawyer and we were going through some issues. You all our in our thoughts and prayers.
Sincerly,
Christina (Fles) Dickerman